


Feelings

by saku062



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saku062/pseuds/saku062
Summary: In the middle of a hunt, Sam and Dean are in a very bad position. They weren't expecting for their strange savior to be an old friend of them. One, they thought had died a few years ago.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You
Kudos: 24





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is what I came with after reading a request on my Tumblr. The anon requesting this asked for what's written as a summary.
> 
> This is again unbetated and I apologize for any mistakes or errors.  
> Enjoy and share your thoughts with me if you want!

This was not supposed to happen like this. Dean always knew one day he would leave for a hunt and never came back from it, it was written in the job’s damn books. His mind was at peace with that fact since a long time ago but he wanted to go down swinging at least. Dying on the job, after a tiring and spectacular fight against the evil sons of bitches, with some big explosion if he was even a bit lucky.

At this rate anything would be better than what was really going on at the moment. Sam was knocked out, after being thrown into a wall, and Dean was glued to the opposite one, his angel blade deeply plunged into his right shoulder, keeping him in place. The demon, one of Crowley’s minions, was gloating right in front of his face, twirling the demon knife between his hands.

“You have to admit, it’s kind of poetic.” The demon’s black eyes roamed over the deadly blade, his fingers tightly wrapped around the handle as he pressed the tip against Dean's chest, right where his heart was.

“Just kill me already. I don’t think I can handle your boring monologue, it’s a real torture. And believe me I know what real torture is.” Dean grunted, the pain in his shoulder being unbearable, but he was not going to die without a bit of sass.

“I’m going to kill you and I’ll wait for your stupid little brother to wake up. Then I’ll slit his throat with this blade.” The demon taunted, his hot breath blowing right into Dean’s face.

Just as the demon was going to plunge the knife into Dean’s body, a long whistle resonated into the eerie night, breaking their concentration. Dean gave the demon a look, one that said ‘don’t look at me, it’s not me’ but the demon wouldn’t have time to wonder what was going as a blurry shape jumped on him.

The demon fell heavily on the ground, fighting the new threat and after blinking to get rid of the sweat beads falling into his eyes, Dean realized that the blurry thing was in fact a dog. A strangled scream came out from deep down the demon’s throat as the dog sank its fangs into the demon’s forearm, forcing him to drop the blade. Another long whistle made the dog step back, the wild animal keeping a ready to pounce stance, growling when the demon tried to move.

Steady footsteps could be heard, definitely coming their way as the stranger emerged from the darkness. Dean didn’t know if it was because of the blood loss, the pain or if he was dead already, but he was sure of one thing, his eyes were deceiving him. It was impossible.

Without a word, the newcomer walked towards the demon, petting the dog’s head on their way, the dog unmoving, watching the demon’s every move, ready to attack if needed. Dean winced under the pain, his body tensed as he held his breath, watching intently the stranger standing in front of the demon, an angel blade sliding out from their sleeve.

Sam’s eyelids fluttered open as an orange light shined on his right side, the demon’s last words being a strangled sound as it was killed. Sam sat on his butt, his back resting against the wall behind him as he waited for his vision to stop spinning. Bringing a hand over the back of his head, he winced at the painful bloody wound. Great, he certainly had another concussion. He froze when their unexpected savior finally turned around, revealing their face to Sam.

“Y/N?” Sam whispered, not believing his own eyes.

“Hello boys.”

***

After ditching the demon’s body somewhere nobody could find it, Y/N brought the Winchesters into her motel room. She gave Sam two painkillers and ordered him to keep the cold patch over his head's wound while she fixed Dean’s injuries. Fortunately it wasn’t as bad as they feared. The blade had pierced his shoulder neatly, avoiding any vital organs so it wasn’t life threatening.

Besides Y/N’s few comments about their injuries, the room was completely silent. Sam was watching their old friend, one he thought he had lost a long time ago, patching up Dean. His older brother grunting quietly from time to time. Whenever Dean made a sound, it was followed by a warning growl.

Sam watched the staring contest between his brother and the dog, finding it a bit funny. 

“Easy, boy.” Y/N commanded, her eyes deeply focused on her task as she wrapped Dean’s shoulder with a large gauze band. She chuckled quietly when both Dean and the dog huffed at the same time, both thinking the command was for themselves.

The tension into the room was palpable as Y/N put away her medical stuff, the three of them perfectly aware of the main topic she was so desperately trying to ignore.

“So,” Sam cleared his throat, trying to start a conversation. “What’s its name?” He asked, waving a hand towards the dog.

“Hunter.” Y/N replied, the dog’s ears perking slightly at the mention of its name.

She scratched the spot between its ears, a fond smile stretching her lips while doing so. The white and grey fur feeling soft under her fingertips as a pair of clear blue eyes were watching her intently. Hunter, a beautiful Siberian Husky had become her best and only friend through the years. She knew the name sounded easy, especially with her lifestyle, but Y/N had never been good with that kind of stuff. The dog being a wonderful hunting partner indeed, the name fitted perfectly in the end.

“You boys should rest. The room is paid for the night so you’re free to use it if you want.” She said, stuffing the few personal belongings into her duffel bag. She knew they wanted to discuss her sudden appearance and she wasn’t ready for the argument that would surely come with this topic. It was better to run away while she still can.

At least, she tried to avoid it, but did she really believe it would be that easy? 

“So that’s it?” Dean finally spoke. He’d been awfully silent until now, even refusing to look at her. He was angry, she knew that. Hell, she would be angry too if the roles were reversed.

“What do you want me to tell you, Dean?” She sighed, her shoulders dropping as she stopped what she was doing.

“Oh you know, boring stuff like I don’t know...How the hell are you alive?” Dean started to say sarcastically, his voice raising with his last words.

She turned around in a swift motion, facing him. “Hi Sam. Hi Dean. I’m alive. Good talk. Goodbye.” She said using the same tone as him.

Grabbing her duffel bag, she whistled, Hunter jumping from the bed right away, following her like a shadow. Sam stood in front of the door, blocking her only exit.

“We saw Noami killing you, Y/N. How is it possible?” Sam asked in a low voice, the memory still painful despite the years.

“She didn't kill me. Not really.” Y/N confessed, giving up. The moment the Winchesters had put their foot in this town, she knew there was no way to avoid that moment anymore.

“We saw it, Y/N.” Sam insisted, coming closer and ignoring Hunter’s warning growl as Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm. “We saw the light, you- your grace exploding, even the shadow of your wings on the floor.”

Her face turned on the side slightly as a way to avoid Sam’s sad look, she tried to keep her voice steady. “I learnt a few tricks from my brother.” A short sentence, that was the best she could do. She could feel the knots in the pit of her stomach, she wasn’t ready to tell them the truth. Not all the truth at least. 

“But why?” Sam needed to know. Why did she suddenly feel the need to fake her own death?

“I had my own reasons. Now if you could let me go.” Was her cold reply, the lack of any emotions as she stared right into Sam’s eyes. If the brothers thought she didn’t care, they would let her go.

Her plan worked perfectly, she could see the hurt in his hazel eyes when he finally let go of her arm and stepped on the side.

The door opened when Dean’s deep voice stopped her in her tracks. “You can heal us before leaving. That’s the least you can do, don’t you think?” The anger was very audible in his voice. Dean was mad at her. There was even a possibility that he truly hated her.

Good. It hurt but it was exactly what she wanted. It was better that way. If they cared she would want to stick with them, and that was something she couldn't let happen. 

“I don’t have time for this. Sorry.” She said, hands curling into fists as she struggled to keep her emotions at bay. Without waiting for an answer she forced her body to move, she only needed to go through that damn door and her problems would be over.

“You’re really just like your family in the end.” Dean said loudly, making sure she heard him. “A big band of dicks.”

She knew he was going to say something hurtful, she was expecting it. However she didn’t count on the fact that she would react. She was so close and yet all her efforts collapsed because the freaking hunter said the only thing that would make her see red.

“Sam,” she called the youngest Winchester’s name through gritted teeth. “Would you take Hunter for a walk, please?”

The Winchesters had one of their famous silent talks, simply by looking at each other. After a subtle nod from Dean, Sam obliged, calling Hunter’s name, an eyebrow raised as the dog followed him willingly. Once the door closed, she turned around, facing Dean once again. If he was surprised to see the hurt in her eyes, Dean didn’t let it show. 

“I am a lot of things, Dean.” She agreed, her voice shaking as she fought against the tears. “But I am certainly not like my family. I cut all the ties with them the day I choose to fight them at your side.”

He knew she was right. Since the beginning she was at their sides. Appearing one day, out of the blue, telling them she was an Angel of the Lord and knew about the Apocalypse and what her brothers and sisters were expecting from the Winchesters. She told them she refused to believe that her Father wanted that for them and offered her help in their impossible fight against Destiny. Castiel assured the brothers he had faith in her, she was a good soldier and someone you could count on.

“Everything I did… I did it for you and your brother. I thought I wanted to protect Humanity but in the end, what mattered the most to me was to protect you.” Her knuckles turned white the more she clenched her fists, nails digging in her flesh. Any physical pain was more bearable than the stinging feeling that wrapped her heart.

“But you left in the end. So what was it for? Why did you fight with us for so long and simply vanished one day?” Dean had to ask her, because he’s been asking himself these questions since that horrible day.

The day he saw her die, Dean knew she did it willingly. He remembered the apologetic look in her beautiful Y/E/C’s eyes that day, while Noami held an angel blade right over her heart. He knew perfectly that look, she had given up.

“I watched you die, Y/N! I was the one who burnt your vessel and gave it a hunter's funeral!” Dean was screaming now, all the pain and sorrow he felt that day rushing out on the surface.

“It was just an illusion, Gabriel…” She justified herself, her voice dying in her throat.

“Yeah I’m aware now, thanks!” The medical supplies next to him went flying against the wall, as Dean unleashed his anger, throwing them everywhere, ignoring the pain in his shoulder.

“I just want to know why. Why?” He yelled, his uninjured arm holding her wrist in a painful grip.

“To protect you!” She cries right in his face, her emotions winning over her internal fight. “I had to. I was wanted, Dean. The angels were resolute to kill me or maybe worse. Me staying with you, I was like a target in your back. Faking my own death was the only way.”

The realization that she was crying hit her only because Dean voiced it. The hunter’s anger cooling down as soon as he saw the fat tears falling down her cheeks. He had never seen her cry. The brothers often joked about how she was in control of her emotions, telling her she was more a robot than an angel. So, to see her crying now, Dean knew something had changed. 

“It’s ju- just I’m not used to all these emotions yet.” She hiccuped, brushing away the ugly tears, only to let more fall down the next second.

“What do you-” Dean mumbled, mossy green eyes roaming over her face, his grip around her wrist loosening. “You’re human.” It was more a statement than a question. Once Dean had put all the little pieces together, it was easy to realize.

The reason she had sent Hunter first, why she didn’t use her powers to kill the demon or heal them, she did all of it because she was being careful. Because she was human and so she could die.

Y/N nodded as a silent answer and Dean was speechless. There were so many questions twirling in his brain. How? Why? When?

Dean didn’t know how to react when he felt her face nestled in the crook of his neck, both of her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she let herself completely go. The initial anger he felt about her betrayal left his body completely as he tried to comfort her, his arms circling her shaking body while listening to her complaints, telling him how hard it was to be human.

As he listened to her, giving her the time to calm down, Dean was thinking that maybe they could all go back to the bunker and start over where they had left. Despite how mad he still was, he would give anything to get his friend back. She was a good friend after all. A very dear friend if he was honest, and he would gladly help her with her new condition. Showing her the ropes and everything else she would need to be a real functioning human and even more if she let him to. 

Was Dean scared to die? Yes he was. Was he scared to end up in Hell, once again? Oh hell yes. But he knew he would go down swinging, no matter what. And if it means burning in hell for the rest of his life because he taught a former angel what the sin of flesh really meant, then so be it. He was more than happy to comply.


End file.
